Blah Blah Blah.

"Usage Teen Lie" = Anagram for my actual name.
15. Filipino. Allergic to hot girls. My friend gave me a pet rock. To infinity and beyond.

dutchster:

antoinettemalificus:

jetblueivy:

drive thru employees
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definitely
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do not
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get paid
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enough
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for
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this
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shit
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they are sick of your nonsense
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I lost my fucking shit at the fish and scared the shit out of my cat!! I am crying!! 

are you kidding me things like are a very welcome relief to an otherwise boring shift of doing repetitive work

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

NEIL YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD 

(via talentedandstupid)

axispowershentai:

softdespair:

join-they-said:

Russian medical record written in cursive

you say russian and i raise you chinese

Chinese doctors' handwriting

we gotta be a sherlock to solve the handwritten mystery

….oh my fucking god—

mothERFUCKING COMMUNISTS, MAN

(via tomhiddleeston)

whoredidthepartygo:

sex is cool but have u ever had garlic bread

(via camrensjauregui)

I crave something I’ve never tasted.
6 word story (via versteur)

(via camrensjauregui)

Because I am not the type of
person someone falls in love with.

guy:

i’m actually pretty cool just give me like 5 tries to get it right

(via australiansanta)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

fun prank idea: go to starbucks and tell the cashier your name is “Dad.” then when the barista starts calling “Dad??” “DAD?” “DAD” you can hide behind the crowd of people and watch as he begins to cry. why did his father leave him

(via cant-t0uch-this)

@allybrookeoffical Going to the beach pt 3

(via jauregmakemegay)

(via blamefish)

heydiddlehiddleston:

does your brain ever just produce disturbingly violent thoughts out of nowhere
like terrible, horrible, thoughts
for no reason at all
and then you snap out of it and you’re like 
i don’t want to kill my mom
what the fuck

(via brittanaheyaaa)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
tell us your most embarrassing story
keepfromfreezing keepfromfreezing Said:

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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